Dilettante’s Inferno: The Five Circles of H.E.L.L. Y.E.S.!
A Quick Guide to Highly Effective Laconic Listicles – Your Eternal Solution!
I. First Circle: Rabbit Holes
Everyone’s pretty sure Lewis Carroll fell into a pitch black sewer hole in the center of several London opium dens. And that’s really the first step, isn’t it? Recognizing the gravity of the situation.
II. Second Circle: Knitting
Grandma and her friends had knitting devices made of concentric wooden hoops. Bloggers knit social circles together and require people to jump through electronic hoops. Grandma thinks clever bloggers are “knit-wits.”
III. Third Circle: Geometry
Without a circle, a tangent wouldn’t exist, or really be any fun. It’d simply be a direct line to Erehwon. And that’s getting you nowhere fast. Q.E.D.
IV. Fourth Circle: The Clock
Seconds and hearts are ticking so make sure your actions are timed so as not to tick anyone off . . . your particular listicle. Keep watching this space or you might get clocked.
V. Fifth Circle: Logrolling
It’s a revolution in mutual admiration. It will all come spinning back if you’re a giver that loves taking praise. It’s all about balance.
So if you think you are a knit-wit with the creative gravitas to go off on a tangent, and not be worried about ticking off a few people, then you’re ready to roll out your best work spinning balanced, authoritative listicles. Are you fired up to set the Internet ablaze with your new torch of wisdom? HELL YES! Well done, you little devil.